Internalised Misogyny

This session turned the lens inward. Internalised misogyny is what happens when women take on the sexist beliefs they grew up with and apply them to themselves and to other women. We started from definitions and from our own results on an internalised misogyny test, then traced where it shows up: early 2000s movies and music, daily life, work, self-sabotage, religion, motherhood, voting, and victim-blaming when women report harassment. We spent time on the pick-me girl and her mirror image, the anti pick-me, and on why both still end up centering men. We closed on why we do it at all, how it helps hold up the patriarchy, and how to actually change this feeling we all might have sometimes.

1. Definitions (from the paper)
   • Misogyny: hatred towards women based on the belief that they are inferior to men
   • Internalised sexism: occurs when women adopt learned sexist beliefs towards themselves and other women
   • Stereotypical gender roles serve to ensure women adhere to certain tasks
   • Already present in children from the age of 8 onwards
   • Experienced by cis and transgender women alike: all women are survivors under the patriarchy
2. Our own biases
   • What are our test results?
   • Typical topics: make-up, "girls are drama"
3. Where do we encounter it?
   • Movies (especially the 2000s), and also music, as in the Girl on Girl book
   • Daily life
   • At work
   • Self-sabotage
   • Religion
   • Motherhood
   • Voting (e.g. for the far right)
   • Victim-blaming in sexual harassment cases, when we don't believe women
   • #MeToo: the anti-feminist backlash could have been triggered not by women actually achieving equality, but by the potential for them to attain it (paper)
   • The paper also adds passive acceptance of gender roles to internalised misogyny (learned helplessness)
   • Self-sexualisation: the body exists for the purpose of being observed (the role of social media?) - within a neo-capitalist system this is often portrayed as a form of empowerment (e.g. OnlyFans?)
   • Loss of self: prioritising a partner's career over one's own, which links back to motherhood
4. The pick-me girl
   • First a label and now everywhere, policing women's behaviour: e.g. being short, having a phobia, not wearing make-up
   • Anti pick-me: "I'm exactly like the other girls" - loving typical female stuff that is often made fun of, but reinforcing the feminine stereotype
   • But what if we really do not like girly stuff?
   • Anti pick-me can turn into pick-me, saying that girls can only like sports to impress men
   • The real problem: it makes people inauthentic, only done to validate one's own identity - still centering men
5. Why?
   • Psychological relief: it helps in navigating a world characterised by oppression
   • How do we hold up the patriarchy with this?
6. Solutions (from the paper)